It is what it is ...This is the most common comment when it comes to ignoring or suppressing emotions. 'It is what it is' is not about accepting situations, but about accepting/allowing emotions. I used to say this a lot about situations and with that I bottled up everything I felt about such a situation. This resulted in restlessness, unease, fatigue, allergies, chronic coughing fits and other discomforts. Fortunately, life held up the mirror to me every time, so that I was strongly urged to let my emotions come up. And only after that it applies: it is what it is... So do you become aware of it when you say this to your children, your environment? Do you really listen to them? Do you give them space to be emotional about something? And then look within yourself what you are hiding in emotions and associated thoughts. Life is not there to bother us, but to help us enlighten ourselves.
All is well. Don't worry about this world; there's nothing wrong. And don't worry about others. You worry about them more than they do themselves. You don't have to protect people from life; just let them live their own experiences while you focus your attention on the experiences you live yourself. Love, Esther (Abraham and Jerry)
If you ask 'Why is it happening to me?' changes into 'What does it want to tell/teach me?' then great changes will take place in yourself! Nothing that happens in your life like illness, suffering, losses, ailments, etc. is meant to destroy or bring you down, although it sometimes feels that way. It is often only afterwards that you realize that the worst was in fact the best thing that could have happened to you...So it can be a lot easier to look at yourself lovingly and differently at life and what it brings you.
The attached picture says that you can choose from two options, but is that really the case?My experience is that both options come in handy. So 'forget everything and run' is fine. Fear indeed makes you go right out of your head and that survival is all that matters. You can then run (flight), fight (fight) or freeze (freeze). These are indeed the survival mechanisms.In a session with people with great fears I allow these mechanisms completely! If someone wants to flee during a session, I say that this is allowed and the same applies to freeze and fight.I then make the comparison with a deer fleeing from a predator. The deer flies away because of fear. He tenses his muscles and runs as long as he can, until the tension (fear) is gone from his body. And then he calmly grazes again.We, as humans, don't do that (anymore). Firstly, because we no longer learn to act like the deer, secondly, because the fears are quickly interrupted by reason ('Oh, it's not that bad, is it?' or 'I shouldn't be like that', etc.).Because this mechanism is interrupted, the fears and adrenaline remain in the body. Every time something scary happens in that person's life, another one of the survival mechanisms comes up.Stimulate those mechanisms in a session in such a way that they are fully felt and completed, just like the deer does. Only then will the fears go away and people can get on with their lives.So the second choice: 'face everything and rise' applies just as well.So I apply both in one session.
"IT WILL PASS BY ITSELF ..."I hear this phrase very often around me. What are you actually doing when you keep saying this sentence? In any case, you don't like what you're feeling right now, because otherwise you wouldn't be saying that. You basically run away from the moment, hoping it will get better soon. So you do not give yourself the opportunity to reflect on what you feel. Then it will not go away, because if you do not pay attention to what you feel, you will maintain the unpleasant feeling or even increase it. And if it has 'passed by' for a while, it will definitely come back, until you do give it attention. That's what you can learn from it. So if you want certain emotions to pass, immediately step into those emotions and feel them unconditionally without judging or seeking explanations.